Nürburgring

Nürburgring


Recently, the new Nissan GT-R supercar lapped the Nürburgring in a blisteringly fast seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds. Next, the new supercharged 638-horsepower Chevy Corvette ZR-1 started putting in lap times in the 7:40 range, but in less-than-ideal cold, wet track conditions, and the GM engineering team started flexing their bragging muscles.

Nissan, not about to lose face to a bunch of hairy gaijin and their coarse, brutish 'Vette, sent out track ninja Tochio Suzuki who knocked out an unbelievably quick 7:29. In the face of speculations as to whether the ZR-1's dry lap time would best the techno-wizardy of the GT-R, chief ZR-1 Engineer Tadge Juecter responded that his car would beat any production car's track record, anywhere in the world.

Needless to say, this epic battle went to my head faster than a pint of schnapps and I may have become a little over-excited. Sadly, I was not successfully able to communicate that excitement to most of my friends.
“Nüburgring? Isn't that the German word for onion ring?” one asked.

“I thought the Nürburgring was destroyed when Frodo cast it into Mount Doom,” said another, “Oh, and thanks for calling, I need your help to clean out my basement.”
There was no help on the home front either, as my eco-conscious wife wanted to know how many miles to the gallon the ZR-1 got. “At least several,” I mumbled, and then high-tailed it.

So what is the Nüburgring anyway, and why does it seem to be the equivalent of behind-the-bike-sheds for afterschool scrapping between the best racecar drivers and engineering teams in the world?

Built in the 1920s in Nürburg (which has nothing whatsoever to do with onions, just in case you were wondering), the Nüburgring is one of the longest, most technically difficult racetracks in the world. It is located in the west of Germany, 120 kilometers northwest of Frankfurt, and is divided into several sections, the most famous being the Nordschliefe or “Northern Loop.”

At nearly twenty-three kilometers in length, with every conceivable type of corner imaginable, it is the Nordschliefe that has made the Nüburgring famous. Sir Jackie Stewart, the Formula 1 racing driver known as the “Flying Scot”, coined the term “The Green Hell” for the Nordschliefe when he raced there in the late sixties, and even now, it is widely regarded as the toughest, the most demanding and the most dangerous racetrack in existence.

The Nüburgring claims several lives each year in crashes. Several well-experienced Formula One drivers died in the sixties, and even now drivers who have logged countless hours can be caught out by any one of its one hundred corners. Any mistake at all means hitting the barrier, and the track's enormous length makes it difficult for emergency teams to respond quickly.

Dangerous it may be, but as a yardstick with which to measure the performance of supercars, 'Ring lap times are far better than just 0-60mph acceleration figures and quarter-mile times. The Nüburgring punishes every dynamic of the cars, only rewarding the best, and many manufacturers use the track as a place to hone their vehicles until they're just right.

GM and their Corvette are relatively new 'Ring rats, but team drivers from German companies such as BMW, Mercedes, Audi and Porsche can be found on the track almost every day, flogging everything from prototype racers to the latest 911 variant. No official word on what the Germans think about the current battle for 'Ring supremacy being fought between the Americans and the Japanese but they're probably cooking up their own track superweapon.

It's not just bragging rights for company racers either: the 'Ring is also open to the public on most weekends and weekday evenings. As it operates in much the same manner as a toll road, you simply drive up to the gate, deposit your twenty-one Euro, and then it's off for a blast around the corners. It can be dangerous to get too wrapped up in trying to hit your best lap time though. Rescue paramedics report that they often retrieve running stopwatches from crashed racecars.

If you're not foolhardy enough to want to lap the Nüburgring yourself, a professional driver can take you on a lightning tour in one of the BMW M5 'Ring Taxis. If you're very lucky, it'll be the “Queen of the Ring”, driver Sabine Schmitz, who's known for giving out such helpful tips as, “Never enter Karussell [a tricky corner] when on the brakes! I have gone round there on the roof, I know what I'm talking about.”

Not enthused about riding shotgun with a fast and furious fräulein either? Well, the Nüburgring's popularity is so widespread, it can be found on most any serious racing simulator you'd care to name. If you do happen to end up going around the Karussel on your roof, it's great to have a reset button.